K a n a s a i

And then there was hope ….

Posted on July 8, 2008 by Jay

Eh eh eh ……

So this was on the ground floor of my office building ….

Saw this in a different building ….

Apparently someone printed a sticker thingy and pasted it on the orginal poster …..

Awwwwwwwww …..

Some one does care enough for the English language ……

There’s hope after all ……

Categorised under All About KT | Disputable Language | Plain Crazy Things

Use stairs if you’re still healthy

Posted on July 6, 2008 by Jay

Eh …… You’re still healthy right?

Better use the stairs then …….

Kanasai~!

Categorised under All About KT | Disputable Language | Plain Crazy Things

Of Dumb Names and more …

Posted on July 2, 2008 by Jay

I don’t quite get it with people and English names nowadays.

My housemate told me that day of his encounter with this Chinese sales rep who introduced himself this way…

Kanasai sales rep : Hi, my name is Yoo Rhine (rhine pronouned as in shine and mine)

Baffled housemate : Erhm …. what’s that again? Could you spell that out?

Kanasai sales rep with stupid name : Oh it’s U-R-I-N-E. Urine Lee. Nice to meet you.

Gawd

What the hell kind of a name is that man?

What the heck is it with people and the incessant need to get English names nowadays?

I mean … of course for those who’ve really had English names all their lives then that’s perfectly finelah

Unless of course your mum named you Biscuit Wong or something.

Just because you like to eat biscuits.

Then I think you can seriously blame your mum for the social outcast and reject you are now.

But then again …. even if you are totally screwed up now from all that teasing you got in primary school, you still have someone to blame you see.

Same thing like if your sur name is Tong. And your parents somehow gave you a name when they were pissed drunk…. a name like Sum Pah.

Then you’d be Tong Sum Pah.

Or if your sur name is Ham. And your parents thought it’d be funny to name you Kah Leng.

You’d be a Ham Kah Leng.

And all your life you’d be mocked and made fun of.

But you’d still have someone to blame.

Which is totally different from if your have a decent Chinese name, and you go through a dictionary to pick an English name for yourself. A totally dumb name.

Oh …. Caburetor sounds snazzy ….. Ok I’ll use that. Hi I’m Caburetor Chan

Oh … Retard sounds like it’ll fit me. Hi I’m Retard Lim

Oh … Potassium sounds like a cool one. Hi I’m Potassium Chin

That’s of course if you use a normal dictionary.

What if you decide to leaf through a medical dictionary?

Oh…. Intestine sounds pretty ok. Hi I’m Intestine Pang.

Oh …. Faeces sounds cool though I don’t know what the hell that means. Hi I’m Faeces Tan

… which is how I think Mr Urine Lee got his name. Pronounced Yoo Rhine Lee mind you.

Oh and I really must mention the name that sparked the controversy of the century. Bobo Chan.

What the bloody hell kind of a name is that anyway?

Sounds like something you might call your dog.

And isn’t that like a romance killer? Imagine your partner’s called Bobo and you’re screaming her name …

Oh BO BOOOoOOOO~!

Ok that was pretty unnecessary but i just had to let it out of my system.

I don’t get it really. I do agree that in the corporate world nowadays, adopting an English name may by all means be necessary.

I guess it’d be much simpler to just give an English name like John. And where clients and important people are concerned, the name will stick much easier.

But for the love of everything good in the world, why not give yourself a normal name?

A decent name like Peter, Jane, Bob, Mary, George or even Barbara.

You go to a corporate meeting with your boss and also other foreigners and introduce yourself as Bandage Ong and see if they take you seriously.

In fact I think they’ll be laughing their asses off at you. In front of you no less.

So there ….. if you ever go up to someone and introduce yourself with an English name you conveniently picked out from the dictionary …..

…and if the dude starts sniggering uncontrollably, you know you really have to consider another name.

Why not try getting a Hokkien name instead?

Like Kanasai.

Hmmm ….

No wonder everyone bursts out laughing whenever I introduce them my blog

Kanasai leh.

Categorised under My Favourites | Plain Crazy Things | Very the Kanasai

Really Bad Bus Manners

Posted on June 28, 2008 by Jay

So I was on the bus back to KL the other day. Minding my own business.

Of course I was minding my own business. What other business is there on a bus anyway?

Cause what I usually do is that I take the night bus, snooze all the way and reach in the wee hours of the morning.

So I was all set for a peaceful and quiet journey. Was almost drifting to sleep when all of a sudden, the kanasai dude in front lowered his seat.

I think lowered is an understatement in every sense of the word.

He literarily dropped the seat and used my lap as support for his seat.

Bloody kanasai~! I guess he missed his bed at home and wanted to make one on the bus. I guess he also left his brains on his bed back home.

The thing was that his friend across saw and pointed it out to him…

And you know what his response was?

“Oh never mind onelar, these seats can put down very very low onelar. Never mind one. People behind cannot feel one. I also cannot feel one”

That was exactly when he ‘felt’ me. ‘Felt’ my knee digging up into the seat. I seriously wished he also ‘felt’ the imaginary crowbar that I was imaginarily shoving up his unspoken part in my mind.

It took him 5 good minutes and a few shoves and pushes before he realized.

So okay …. he adjusted his seat. Lifting it up by 1 notch.

Of course he did. He wasn’t about to do something smart now after that display of stupidity was he?

So all was okay. For the next 10 minutes or so.

I think people around the world were born equal. But then some went to this school….

This guy probably graduated at the top of his class, if not his school.

Cause when I did manage to fall asleep, I started dreaming that some dude was talking to me in a mixture of Hokkien, Cantonese and English, in the most broken way ever.

Whaddayaknow? Mr Dumb Ass was on the phone rapping away. On the top of his voice. In hybrid Hokkien Cantonese English about how is stomach very ‘thong’ and that he very ‘kangkoh pangsai’ ….

For the uninitiated, ‘thong’ means painful, and ‘kangkoh pangsai’ means difficulty in shitting.

Who wouldn’t have difficulty shitting if all that shit were in his brains?

Anyway since he was on the phone and making sure that the bus driver up front and quite possibly people back in Kuala Terengganu could hear him, it was no use talking to him. I just dug my knee into his seat really hard.

And that was where he showed what he learnt in ‘Advanced Class of Moronic Looks’.

For he turned around, still yakking and gave me a stare so moronic, I swear I felt much dumber just looking at him.

Holy crap.

I’m telling you he made this dude look like freaking James Bond !

I really thanked the Lord that he stopped really soon.

But that wasn’t the best part yet.

Cause when I was drifting off to sleep yet again, I was rudely awakened from my slumber by a tingling in my nostrils. So I woke up with a jolt and looked at Uncle Hong’s star student. And you know what I saw?

He was eating. Not just anything. He was eating durians! Durians that his equally dumb wife or whoever must’ve packed for him.

Eating durians in an enclosed air cond area with 20 or more people.

Here’s the thing. Food aroma is only nice when you’re hungry. And when you’re not trying to sleep in an air cond area.

Naturally people around started complaining. But he still wanted to finish that durian he was eating. So he did.

And further removed any doubt that he really was Ah Hong’s best student yet.

At the back of my mind I imagined him being awarded this t-shirt during graduation ….