Archive for A Lot Of Nonsense

In Anticipation of Good Movies ….

A Lot Of Nonsense, My Favouriteson April 26th, 20095 Comments

Just came from watching Sudoku Incident the other day …..

Oops I meant … Shinjuku Incident. See the thing I’ve come to realize nowadays is that in movieland, the characters that you choose really define you and your career years down the road.

Don’t believe me?

Let’s take a look at Pierce Brosnan. Right. Mention the word Pierce Brosnan and Mr Kanasai Bond comes to mind.

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So you could ask Mr Brosnan to get rid of his gun and suit and act in any other movie … even something totally the opposite of his character like Mamma Mia … 

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Yet somehow you’ll kinda picture the dude in his suit and wonder why he’s still carrying his gun while singing songs.

Similarly you’ve got people like the 3 main characters of Harry Potter who’ll probably be doomed to forever be called Harry, Ron and Hermione.

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Daniel who? Ruper who? Ohhhh .. you mean Harry and Ron right?

Ok, before we go further let it be known that I’m a fan of Emma Watson so we’ll leave her out of this one. I’ve always thought that it should’ve been Hermione Granger who should’ve been the star of the Harry Potter series …

The books really should’ve been named …

Hermione Granger and the Philosopher’s Stone.

Or Hermione Granger and The Goblet Of Fire featuring (very slightly) Harry Potter ….

Or Hermione Granger and The Prisoner Of Azkaban, with appearances by Harry Potter …

Or Hermione Ganger and Her Secret Chambers … hmmm … that sounded quite wrong.

Oops … I digress.

So like I was saying. So there was this whole big controversy about Daniel Radcliffe getting naked for some show or whatever …. 

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But somehow when I see this picture I imagine … 

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…… him doing his Harry Potter thing…

Gahhh … that’s a bad piece of photoshopping …but you get my drift ….

And I haven’t even started on people like Hannah Montanah and Lizzie McGuire. Honestly speaking, I initially didn’t know that Hannah Montannah and Miley Cyrus were the same person. And truth be told, now that I know, I couldn’t care less.

So when I watched Sudoku, I mean Shinjuku Incident the other day, I couldn’t get my mind off the fact that Daniel Wu’s character was no different from all the other characters he’s played.

Ok I admit I don’t really watch Daniel Wu movies that much but the ones I did watch have me thinking of him as playing psychopaths really well.

Like in New Police Story with Jackie Chan where he was this psychotic killer dude ….. 

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In Sudoku Incident, he started off as being a coward. But somehow halfway through the movie he was back playing a psychotic dude …..

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The only difference was this time he looked like a guitarist from some J-Rock band who watched Dark Knight too many times and fell in love with the Joker.

And then there’s Lana Lang …. I mean Kristin Kreuk.  

In Smallville she plays a small town girl who’s overly sweet, weepy, teary eyed and emotional.

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In Street Fighter she plays a small town girl with a martial arts background ……. who’s overly sweet, weepy, teary eyed and emotional.

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Sheesh.

In Street Fighter, she’s an ex piano performer who’s confused and doesn’t know her destiny.

I have a hunch. I suspect it’s to be a Street Fighter.

Whatever it is, like I said, I’ve been watching quite a few movies lately and most of them fall short of expectations.

Like Dragonball Evolution. Holy crap.

There’re about a hundred and one things wrong with the movie.

For one the main character is a white dude….

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For another, Chow Yun Fatt is in the movie.

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And Piccolo (still don’t know why he’s named after a woodwind instrument) looks like a Klingon who underwent green tanning.

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Ho hum.

And did anybody watch the Watchmen? Ahakzzz …. watch the watchmen. Get it get it? Hahaha ….

Erhm …. I know I know …. lame.

Anyway, there was this complex incredible plot about Richard Nixon still being around and all …

And all that I felt worth remembering about the film was the fact that the dudes over at the Malaysian censorship board found Dr Manhattan’s ‘assets’ too much too handle and blurred it out ….

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To be fair I don’t really know if the uncensored version has that blur spot as well but the fact is ….

Why the hell is he walking around naked anyway?

Just because you’re like, blue and glowing and all, that gives you the right to go around walking with your thing hanging? What if you bump into children man?

I also watched The International.

First up, I really have to ask this. Doesn’t the word ‘The International’ sound hanging to you?

Isn’t International an adjective or something? So why’s it being used as a noun?

It’s like calling your fat child …. The Fat.

… or your smelly feet … The Smelly.

Now that’s a movie that had me wondering why the hell they bothered making movies like that. Have you watched The International? Well, you can’t anymore but if you decde to download it and watch it … here’s a direct spoiler for you …. the ending isn’t an ending at all.

HakZ.

Think I’ll wait for the movies that really matter ……

Like Terminator Salivation … I mean … Salvation …

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… And ooohhh boyy ….Transformers 2 ….

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 And most of all …..

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Hermione Granger and the Half Blood Prince …

Bahh … I wish~!

See ya at the movies ….

Kanasai~!!!

Misguided parking ….

A Lot Of Nonsense, Disputable Languageon April 9th, 20092 Comments

See here see here …

I just can’t resist putting this up I just can’t resist putting this up.

Look at at this …… 

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Looks like a parking lot no?

…….

Nope …..

Apparently it’s ….

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…..a PAKING lot.

Kanasai~!!

Flasher At The Carpark

A Lot Of Nonsense, Miscon March 2nd, 2009No Comments

I’m about to ask a silly question.

Then again is there anything about this blog that’s not silly?

Right. As I ws saying.

You know, when you enter parking lots and there’re those ticketing machine thingies? 

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Well, me and my buddy were entering the one at Mid Valley the other day.

Then we saw this.

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Flash here. 

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Hmmm.

Flash here? You mean right now? Here? 

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Like this ?

Kanasai~!!

The Kanasai Guide to Driving in KL

A Lot Of Nonsense, Good ol Kanasai KL, My Favouriteson February 20th, 20097 Comments

If you’ve ever driven in KL, you’ll know for a fact that driving to work is never just ‘a drive to work’.

Or a trip down town to a friend’s place.

Sure, you want to get to your friend’s place to do whatever it is that you wanna do. But the drive there itself is an experience and a half.

Take for an example the Bulatan Jalan Pahang that I have to go through every single day of work.

Seriously, I tell you ar, if for some unknown reason Satan wanted to start making roundabouts in Hell, he’d just have to come right down to the this roundabout, hang around for half an hour, drive through it just 2 times and he’d be left wandering just why everyone’s so afraid to go to Hell when in fact, there already is Hell on earth.

See, on the way back from work today I thought I’d be a smart ass and take pictures of the roundabout.

Yeap …. smart guy you ar Jay…..

1. When was the last time you saw a dude standing around taking pictures of a roundabout without thinking of him as a nutcase?

2. I’d have to pull over at a roundabout. If I did that at rush hour, you won’t be visiting me at jaythean.com anymore. You’d be visiting me at my funeral.

So I kinda nipped a picture of the roundabout from those guys over at disini.net. Thank you folks at Disini.net, I’m glad you guy managed to take a picture of the roundabout and live to upload it.

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Okay so this picture doesn’t exactly do justice to how I just described the roundabout.

But the fact is, I reckon if you’re able to survive driving through this roundabout during peak hours (which is exactly when I go to work and come back from work), you’d probably be able to do any other roundabout with your eyes closed and your hands tied behind your back.

Erhmm …. maybe not your hands tied behind your backlah … but you get my drift.

Like I said, driving in KL is an experience and an assault on all your sense … not to mention your sanity.

That’s why after 2 weeks of observation on KL roads, I’ve managed to come up with …

THE KANASAI GUIDE TO DRIVING IN KL ~!!

Hey …… no I’m not giving excuses for not updating my blog for the past 2 weeks. =P

Let’s start with ….

How to Line up at a Toll Booth in KL

So you’re at a toll right? What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you’re at a toll?

Queue up and wait your turn at the correct lane right? I mean, if you’re paying cash, you’re definitely not gonna be queueing up at the Touch N Go lane right?

Wrong.

When queueing up at a toll, be sure to start off in the wrong lane. If you’re paying cash do line up at the Touch N Go Lane or Smart Tag lane that’s next to the cash lane.  

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Before reaching said toll, weave out of the Touch N Go Lane and cut into the cash lane.

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Be sure to honk at glaring passengers. And if they honk at you first, do not hesitate to show them the finger.

After all, what do they know about driving etiquette? They didn’t buy their license from the coffee shop at RM2000.

Now that you car’s backside is sticking out, do hang around for a bit. Doing so will encourage other passengers with the same Kopi O License to follow you.

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Before you know it, you’ve already started  another lane. I mean, 2 lanes are definitely better than one right? Especially if both those lanes lead into 1.

Now that you’ve done your part on the road, you should hope that the people on the other side of the lane follow suit.  

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Once you find that the original line can no longer be discerned from the mayhem you’e created, you know you’ve done your part for society. You can now pat yourself on the back.

Traffic Lights Colours Are For Wimps

See that traffic light up ahead? Its yellow. Yup yellow. What do you do?

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Slow down cause it’ll turn red in no time?

Oh that’s soO wong.

When traffic lights turn yellow in Malaysia, you step on it. Like really really step on it. Cause if you don’t, there’ll be half a dozen cars behind you cursing you for not stepping on it.

Don’t want all those curses and swears coming your way do you?

So what happens when the light turns red after the yellow? Simple

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You step on it even more. It’s an unspoken law in our country that even after the traffic lights turn red, you’re allowed to still go on for like 5 more seconds.

Never mind the cars whose lights at their roads have turned green.

Accidents occuring? Nah, not your problem at all. Everybody knows about the 5 second-after-turning-red rule. If they bang you it’s totally their fault. It’s their word against your in court.

Which brings me to my next point ….

Yellow box? I don’t see any yellow box

See that yellow box painted on the road? Best stay off the yellow box no?

Wrong.

Those yellow lines painted on the road look so pretty. Why not park your car over it? Works especially well when you’re coming from the 5 second-after-turning-red rule mentioned above and there’re cars jammed in front and spilling onto the yellow box.

Once again I couldn’t get a picture of a yellow box. So I nicked one off ealingtimes.com ….

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See there was this dude who actually posed at a yellow box. Now, what kind of a nutcase actually poses at a …erhmm …. if you’re reading this please don’t sue me. Hey I did credit you after all.

So like I was saying, park your car over the yellow box and block traffic coming from the right and the left. Honks and curses should come in no time.

That’s the Malaysian way of driving.

Why do I need a signal light anyway?

See those yellow lights at the four corners of your cars? When you’re driving in KL, you have absolutely no use for them. I suggest you rip them right out and either :

1. Sell them off for a quick buck or …

2. Give them to other people who might need them or …

3. …..Nah, nobody uses signal lights in KL so you’re better off just selling them off.

When you want to cut into someone’s lane, why waste time putting the signal light? Just go ahead and cut right in. Of course the person behind you may bang right into you. Or they might stop on time.

When you’re slowing down and looking for a place to park, just slow down. Don’t bother about the car behind you. If he stops in time then good, if he doesn’t then he did knock into you after all.

When you’re bored and somehow feel that you do need to utilize the signal that the good ol car company provided you, then why not do what I saw a person do to me the other day …..

When you want to turn left, signal right. And vice versa!

YipPpeee … Fun for the whole family. Especially when they visit you at the morgue.

The Horn is there so why not use it?

 This is my favourite.

Every car has a horn. I mean it’s there so why not use it?

One great way of giving the ol horn a toot is when you’re all waiting at a traffic light.

Pay close attention to the red light. And once the red light turns green, honk the car in front of you. Never mind that it’s only been a second since the light turned. Honk him anyway.

No other way to show how Malaysian you are than to display the extreme extent of your impatience on the road ….

The time now is 1am ….  I think I’m babbling …..

More Kanasai Guidelines once I’ve done  more research yar …

Kanasai~!!

Kong Hei Fatt Choy to all~!

A Lot Of Nonsense, Miscon January 26th, 20094 Comments

Take a look here.

Have you ever wondered ….

Have you ever just wondered what an angpau packet ….

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…. and 2 guitars have in common? 

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 Or have you ever wondered what the difference is between …

….. a Bluetooth headset … 

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…. and a CD of Chinese New Year hits?

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Well. Quite frankly, I also don’t know.

Now that I’ve gotten your attention …..

Have a Happy Chinese New Year people~! May the Year Of The Ox bring us good wealth and all that jazz… 

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I do hope the Chinese character up there means Ox.

And for the uninitiated ….

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… here’s a picture of 2 oxen to remind us that oxen aren’t really that cute and cuddly in real life.

Kong Hei Fatt Choy~!!

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