Archive for A Lot Of Nonsense

The Kanasai Year That Was ….

A Lot Of Nonsense, My Favourites, Plain Crazy Thingson January 4th, 20094 Comments

I started this blog back in September 2007.

I think that was when civilization took a great plunge.

You know that picture of evolution ……. I think it looks something like this :

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Then on September 2007 I started this Kanasai blog,  then BAM …….

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I remember my first ever posting as being the incessant grumblings of a disgruntled pharmacist. Being stuck in KT and all. I was going on and on and on about how unfair life was, how life sucked and how fat I was becoming ….

And a whole load of other boring things…..

I can’t believe I actually asked you guys out there to love thy chickens. It was a youtube video about how KFC was supposedly mistreating their chickens.

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I mean …. who the heck was I kidding? It’s already a known fact that we ALL already DO love our chickens.

It’s just that some of us love them fried ……

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And others love them in curry…

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But one good thing that came out of all this was that these posts served as a platform for all my other posts in 2008. The absolutely kanasai ones.

Like the one where Jolin Tsai was tacked up on our bathroom door in KT. 

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Ho hum ….

Or the ever infamous PISGOR sign that got me baffled all day long ….. 

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Oh well. Then of course there was the really hip and happening NOKLA phone that would’ve given Nokia a run for its money.

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You can almost imagine this tagline being used by whoever it is who made these NOKLA phones ….

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Ahhh. I loved those days. When I wasn’t busy spotting all the weird happenings over in KT, I’d be making fun of whatever it is I could think of.

I reckon my favourite posts are the ones…..

about the Quaint Little Indian Barber Shops ….

And about those Dumb Emails….

Also …. the one on Why Friendster is Losing Out To Facebook

And the one about Dumb Names

I can’t really pull out any excerpts from those posts for they have to be read in their entirety for them to actually make any sense.

So do click on the links above yar. I promise you you won’t regret it.

But then again even if you do regret clicking on those links, I’ve already fooled you into clicking anyway….

 A big tongue out for you ….. =P

Of course …… being a government servant ….. taking a whack at the government was inevitable.

Like this one about everything bloody thing being Hak Kerajaan …. 

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Who’s that bozo anyway? What kind of an idiot would stick the Hak Kerajaan label on his forehead, take a picture of it and put it up on his blog for laughs?

That’s crazy. Imagine that.

Ermm ……

I was saying?

Right. Goverment bashing. The one about the Biro Tatanegara remains quite a popular one too. The fact that I actually survived 5 days in that shithole and lived to tell tales about it shows …. what’s that you say? …

….. what kind of a weakling I actually am?

Hey …. it was really that tough okay.

Moving on…..

I have a whole bunch of posts on the kursus I’ve been to all year. Like the ILKAP, the induksi, my the kursus in Johor. But then they’re really snooze inducing so I reckon I won’t mention them …

Wait …. by mentioning that I won’t mention them, I already did mention them.  

I think I need a life. 

Anyway, signs. Signs and more signs. I find that some people can be really funny without even realising it.

Like when they pick out names for their shops ….. 

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Mann ….. what the heck were they thinking? PMS Store?

But then …. I don’t think they can ever top this …. 

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I’m guessing these people don’t know what Vargina rhymes with. It’s probably someone’s name. But then again who the hell names his or her child Vargina man?

*shivers*

Whatever it is, come October 2008, there came an important event in my life

Nope I didn’t close this blog.

I was transferred back to KL.

Suddenly the world seemed like so much less of a kanasai place.

Well ……. for the first few weeks at least.

That’s until I came across KL kanasainess on a whole new level …..

Like the dude who named his restaurant after a disease over in Damansara…… 

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Ahhhh …….. 2008’s been a good year.

2009’s gonna be even more awesome.

Here’s to a kanasai filled year ………

HAPPY KANASAI NEW YEAR people~!

Cheers~!!!

‘Private’ Restaurant

A Lot Of Nonsense, Good ol Kanasai KLon December 19th, 20085 Comments

 OMG

I have just one sentence for this one … 

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Who in the frigging world names his restaurant after a word that sounds like a private part?

Kanasai

Civilisation Takes a Great Plunge

A Lot Of Nonsense, Good ol Kanasai KL, My Favouriteson October 27th, 20082 Comments

I show no pretense in this ……… 

It’s a well known fact that Kuala Terengganu’s been the place from which I draw inspiration for most of my blog postings.

In fact being in KT was the main reason why I started a blog in the first place.

So here’s the question that many people have asked me…..

….. “Jason …… so will you continue torturing us with all the incessant ramblings and nonsense about KT that you post on your blog all the time”

And to that I reply …

“Of course I won’t. I’m not inhuman.”

“From now on I will only torture you with incessant ramblings and nonsense about KL

Cause I believe KL is not without its share of kanasai-ness.

Cause the way I see it ….

KT used to have one very kanasai person there …..  

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Now KL pulak got one very kanasai person …. 

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See … not much difference in the Kanasai factor is there?

So it is with this that I humbly announce a new chapter in my Kanasai blog.

You know …. the chapter where I move back to KL and civilization there takes a great plunge ……

Ahhhh ….

It’s great to be home~!

More kanasai-ness coming your way. Right after I figure out how to shift my shitload of stuff from KT back to KL. Hmmmm

The Moment Of Idiocy

A Lot Of Nonsense, My Favourites, Very the Kanasaion October 16th, 2008No Comments

Somewhere between absolute boredom and sheer stupidity …..

 ….. did I decide to sit through an episode of “The Moment Of Truth” last night. 

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You guys ever watched this show?

If you haven’t then good for you.

If you’ve watched once or twice then I suppose that’s fine (saying this with the sole intention of making myself look less of a loser than I already am)

But if you follow each and every episode then I think you’re a sick person and need help.

For while it’s fun to see people answer stupid questions like…..

“Have you had sexual relations in your family’s furniture store?” or

“Do you (a guy) wear make up when you go out?” and the classic questions that got me in stitches …

“Have you had sex with over 100 women?”

…. it’s not so funny once questions on infidelity pop up ….. questions that threaten to break up marriages, relationships and family.

And the way I see it ……. if you answer truthfully, you’re screwed …

… and if you answer it wrongly, everyone would know you lied which also ends up in you being screwed ….

… and if you choose not to answer a question, people would also be able to guess what your answer already is…. so you’re screwed too.

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 Haiyorrrr…..

Whylar play a game show where you end up being screwed regardless? On national tv no less.

And the thing is the grand moolah for answering all 21 questions truthfully isn’t that much anyway as my good friend the no named pharmacist pointed out …. only half a million bucks.

Kanasai

Why not just rob a bank? You’d come away much richer …. and at the end of the day even if you get caught you’d only have to go to prison. 

At least you won’t be scarred with the memory of publicly embarassing yourself, your family, your friends and your loved ones on national tv.

But that also gets me wondering …. if your family, friends and loved ones are also thick faced and dumb enough to appear on this show and to allow themselves to be publicly humiliated, then I guess that explains why you’d even be thinking of taking part in the first place.

Oh well…

What they really should do is name the programme …  Who Wants To Be A Half Millionaire … And Lose Everything Else In The Process? 

Which brings me to the outright conclusion that these crazy Americans :

  1. Will do just about any darn thing to get money
  2. Are a bunch of sick people and need help.
  3. Are crazy….. oh did I say that already?

But then again I think …. us being Malaysians we :

  1. Will also do just about any darn thing for money
  2. Are a bunch of rather kiasu people and thus….
  3. Will do just about any thing to copy those crazy Americans

So I wouldn’t be surprised if in time, we’d have our own Malaysian style of The Moment of Truth…

It’d probably be called something like …… “Detik Kebenaran”

Or if it were renamed to what I suggested above, it’d be given a not so catchy title like .. . “Siapa Nak Jadi Separuh Jutawan Melalui Cara Yang Poyo”

And they’d ask really traditional Malaysian questions that would seem trivial to the outside world but would be an embarassment of the biggest proportions here in our country. Questions like …

  1. Pernahkah anda kentut di dalam bas awam dan menyebabkan penumpangnya pengsan?
  2. Pernahkah anda lupa menyimbah mangkuk tandas selepas membuang air besar di tandas awam?
  3. Pernahkah anda meminjam wang daripada 10 orang Ah Long?

…. You get my drift. Ooooh I wait in glee.

Kanasai~!

That Annoying SMS

A Lot Of Nonsense, Disputable Language, My Favouriteson September 25th, 20085 Comments

Everyone has a handphone nowadays. And everyone uses SMS.

And I think everyone’s getting extremely lazy nowadays as well.

Cause I got this message from a friend the other day

Bro Jay, blh tk bg th ku ari ni kul bape mtng kat ofc nti?

At 5am in the morning some more. Eh kanasai~!

Erhm. I thought this gal was awakened from her sleep at 3am by her neighbour’s dog barking and in a fit of anger started randomly keying in words in a display of extreme anger.

And somehow she sent it to me.

Cause I thought SMS difficult to key in punctuations mar.

So instead of

!@# #$ )* $&% *%&$*#&(*@(##$*(&

She sent me this lor …

blh tk bg th ku ari ni kul bape mtng kat offc nti?

… which I think would have been no different from if she wrote this ….

hf thgj lk okok shit head rty wyr mvhr

or this …..

vb htj ie nvgth ur mum’s ass thr uei ockf dfe.

Kanasai.

I think I’ve seen random words that make more sense.

I don’t quite get SMS languageleh.

Apparently what she meant was :

Bro Jay, boleh tak bagi tahu aku hari ini pukul berapa meeting dekat office nanti?

Erhmm … condensed into this?

Bro Jay, blh tk bg th ku ari ni kul bape mtng kat ofc nti?

Like I said, I suppose everyone’s getting extremely lazy nowadays.

But of course at the other end of the spectrum there are those people whom I know who send messages like this :

jAy, glAD wE mANagEd to MEeT uP. hOPE to SeE yoU AgaIN~!

On top of feeling absolutely kanasai-ed when I read this message, I get the unsettling feeling :

  1. That there might be something wrong with my eyes
  2. That I might have to change my handphone cause it’s displaying lower case and upper case words in a random fashion
  3. That if the sender were a gal, she had way too much time on her hands
  4. That if the sender were a guy, he had way too much time on his hands and was quite possibly gay.

And I also know of people who for some seemingly annoying reason overdose on smileys and emoticons.

I’ve nothing against emoticons of course. In fact I believe a smiley face =) at the end of a message does wonders in elevating the mood.

Likewise a simple =( from my gf is usually more than enough of an indication that I’m in trouble.

My personal favourite is the tongue thingy. =P

Now when used in moderation, emoticons add just that extra bit of spark in conveying your message.

But definitely not when your message looks like this :

Hehe. Cool! No need to rushlah. =D Take your time=P Hehe. When you’re finished just call me =) I come to your placelah. =) Hehe Or if you want you can come and pick me this timelor =P I don’t care one ar Hahaha. ^_^

I suppose I should be just glad that the dude isn’t gay or has too much time on his hands. Or I’d have messages that look like this :

Hehe. CoOL! No nEeD to ruSHlaH. TAkE yOUr tImE=P Hehe. WhEN YoU’Re fINIshEd JUsT cAll mE =) I coMe tO YoUr plaCElAh. =) Or iF yOU wAnT yOu cAn cOMe aNd PiCk mE thIS tIMelOr =P I dON’t cArE oNe Ar HaHAha. ^_^

Then I imagined that if this already gives me a headache, what if this dude also had the laziness of the above mentioned person? I’d have a message like this:

Hehe. cL! No nD to rSHlH. Tk yr tM=P Hehe. Wn uR fNshd jUs cl mE =) I cM tO Yr plClh. =) Or iF U wn U cn cM N PCk mE thS tMelr =P I dN’t cr oNe Ar HaHAha. ^_^

…. and I’d be banging my head against the wall everytime a message comes through.

And I haven’t even begun to mention those kanasai people who’ve mastered the art of swift text messaging.

You send them a message like this …

Hey man, So how was the holiday? Must’ve been one helluva ride. When you free to meet up? I’ll buy this time. Btw, have you asked Ben about next week’s meeting?

And you know what their response is ?

Ok ….

Kanasaileh~!!

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