Archive for Somewhat Serious Issues

The Most UnKanasai Letter Ever

My Favourites, Somewhat Serious Issueson October 23rd, 200811 Comments

Got a letter today ….

And after that ….

The world seemed like such a nicer place …..

Food tasted so much better ……

Every step I took felt so much lighter …..

The air never felt so good in my lungs……

Even being called a woman did not bother me in the least …..

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For …..

The largest of burdens have been lifted off my shoulders….

I’ve been waiting for this moment for the past 2 years …….

KL …….

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I’m coming home~!!!

Kanasai Bonsai Kitten

Somewhat Serious Issues, Thoughts to Ponderon October 6th, 20082 Comments

When I was a college kid back then, I stumbled upon this Bonsai Kitten website.

http://www.shorty.com/bonsaikitten/

I was beside myself in rage.

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I mean ……. how could anyone possibly be this cruel to animals?

Stuffing poor kittens into jars and growing them into funny funny shapes?

The people over at www.icanhascheezburger.com would have nothing to write silly captions to.

What’d be so funny about a triangular shaped kitteh?

Or a kitteh that looks like a tennis ball?

I was also probably really stupid to actually believe that this website was real.

I know cats are really kanasai lah, but then again, stuffing them into jars and moulding them into custom shapes would make no difference what …

You’d probably have like a nice star shaped cat ….

… but the cat would still be kanasai as ever.

Being the cat lover I was (and still am, though this might change seeing as how kanasai my cats are becoming), sheer anger and horror prompted me to leave a nasty comment in their guestbook over here

http://www.shorty.com/bonsaikitten/bkguestbook.html

They never approved it.

I really should’ve known better. If you read the comments properly, you’ll notice that all their sentences are constructed in perfect English.

And that the comments, along with the replies are downright hilarious.

In fact I feel that the people running the website should be commended for their humour and ingenuity. 

I mean, there’re actually comments like this : 

From: Puss <puss@barble.net> Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000

Extremely funny!! I did the same thing to my cat except I used a full size house! What a dummy I was!

Dear Puss,

Surely you jest, where could you possibly have obtained such a large kitten? Thank you for your letter anyway.

Here’s another one :

From <anon@somebody.net> Date: Fri, 22 Dec 2000

I would like to know more about the cramming? I have grand ideas of stuffing kittens into old medicine bottles and suchlike. Could one cram kitten and boat into one bottle? What a mystery! Yes. Perhaps I hook up remote-control device & wheels to bottle and kitten gets tour of house under my control… So many ideas flood my mind and make me sick with happiness!

Dear Anon,

That is a very interesting suggestion, that merits further study. You could probably apply for a government science grant! This sounds like an ideal way for your Bonsai Kitten to be able to explore dangerous environments in which you would never allow a normal kitty, such as the inside of the neighbour’s dog kennel, or on a football field during the big game. If you send us the bottle, we can custom drill axle bearing holes and chassis attachment points with our precision equipment, to ensure proper alignment. You wouldn’t want a wobbly kitty! Please e-mail us to work out further details.

So if you’re free do visit the link above. Got me in stitches.

Kanasai~!

Of Raja Petra’s arrest and of the circus running our country…

Somewhat Serious Issues, Thoughts to Ponderon September 15th, 20082 Comments

So I woke  up the other day and read the papers.  Raja Petra arrested under ISA. Yada yada.

I figured Malaysia Today isn’t exactly the most pro government site nowadays.

But then hor …..

Teresa Kok also arrested wor.  And here’s the most kanasai thing I’ve ever heard of. The Sin Chew Daily reporter who wrote on Ahmad Ismail’s racist remark was also arrested.

I  think our friends up there heading the country have totally lost it man.

And I also think that other countries in the world are having a good laugh watching the circus that is the Malaysian Government.

Cause apparently when you make racist remarks in our country, here’s how they handle things:

  1. Make sure whoever made that remark is a member of UMNO or BN
  2. Sit on the matter for days. Never mindlar if he made the deputy prime minister apologise on his behalf, then remained defiant.
  3. Then when things are finally dicussed, make sure you let him go with just a 3 year suspension
  4. Go and arrest the reporter who reported on that racist remark.
  5. While they’re at it, might as well arrest other people too. Syiok what. Arrest Teresa Koklar. Raja Petra also talk so much. Arrest him alsolar.
  6. Eh that grandmother walking down Petaling Street talking about our governmentlar. Better arrest her also lar. Just in case.

So we have one of the most racist dudes in our country walking away scot free after sparking what might have been the follow up to 1969.

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And then we have the messenger , the poor Sin Chew Daily reporter Tan Hoon Cheng, under arrest.

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You know it’s kind of like Harry Potter where messages are sent via owls….. 

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Then when you get news that ruffle you …..

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You shoot the poor bloody owl. 

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Of course the public protests. When the kanasai government does kanasai things, are we to just keep quiet?

So in the face of overwhelming protests, they then release the poor Sin Chew gal.

Here’s the next kanasai thing. Their explanation for arresting the gal? To protect her wor. For her safety wor.

Holy Crapolingam.

Eh next time you borrow money from ah Long hor, if you feel that your life is in danger ….. call up the ISA. They’ll protect you.

They’ll put you straight in jail. Better than being beaten up what.

Kanasai~!

And what about circus act number 2? The sudden need for our MPs to learn agriculture. In Taiwan.

An explanation which undermines the intelligence of each and every citizen in our country in yet another exuberant display of arrogance from our friends up there.

It’s like playing cat and mouse actually.

Send MPs to Taiwan. Opposition follows suit. Once opposition people reach Taiwan, send MPs back to Malaysia.

Kanasai.

There’re actually a dozen other things I want to pick on but I think I’d better stop lest the ISA people arrive in Terengganu and pick up a certain kanasai person. 

Don’t know bout you people, but I feel our country’s headed for dark times.

It’ll be interesting to see what happens in a day or two.

The Tale Of How You Screwed Us

It Can Only Be KT, Pharmacy Related, Somewhat Serious Issueson September 7th, 20088 Comments

You …

I’m talking to no one else but you …

Yes you …. 

  • We excel in whatever we do in spite of everything you’ve denied us.
  • Yet you give us no recognition of any sort
  • You deny us places which are rightfully ours in favour of skin colour
  • You force us to dig into our own pockets to finance our own education
  • You indirectly export potential contributors to the system in a time where others are importing them

Having done that you expect us to be loyal to you and to serve you

  • You happily screw us right left and center by making it such that if we don’t serve you, the education which we financed ourselves will amount to nothing
  • You then randomly send us to absurd places. Places which I believe if your own children were sent, would have your knickers in a knot.
  • You do things to people without the slightest thought of how negative the impact might be  
  • You let us down time and time again by your constant display of poor judgement and inequality.

And yet you still expect us to be loyal to you and to serve you

  • You make it such that we have to beg you for anything
  • You make it such that we have to stoop to levels we’d be ashamed to stoop to, for only the lowest levels of action on our parts would warrant any reponse on yours.
  • You strip us of our dignity by still denying us what we humbly request
  • And at the very same time you give freely to others what we’d tried so hard to request from you.
  • Just because we were painted a different colour at birth 

And yet you still expect us to be loyal to you and to serve you

  • You constantly shower us with propaganda that in an ironic way, decreases our level of tolerance and further fuels our dissatisfaction
  • Your constant display of the most ridiculous things we watch on the news everyday leaves us wondering how our children’s future will be like
  • In the disturbing reality where even the laziest person gets an award, you give us absolutely no incentive in serving you. Yet you want us to strive to be the best. 
  • Once again we excel in whatever we do in spite of all the shit you’ve put us through.
  • And yet you give us no recognition.

And yet you still expect us to be loyal to you and to serve you

You ……

  • You’re keeping us in a place with no opportunities
  • You’re surpressing all our ambitions
  • You’re killing all our dreams
  • You’re bringing to the gradual crumbling of our close relationships
  • You’re denying us the chance of pursuing our interests and goals in life
  • You’re denying us the simple pleasure of waking up everyday to family and loved ones around us
  • You’re denying us the chance of caring for our aging parents in an irony that sees us giving pharmaceutical care to total strangers 500km away from home

Most of all ….

  • You’re robbing us of our youth

You …

Rest assured that when the time comes we will pick ourselves up and piece bits of our lives back together.

When the time comes we will leave you hard and cold and tell tales of how you screwed up our lives, along with those who were unfortunate enough to cross paths with you.

And rest assured that when that time comes, after the way you screwed our lives, we will do whatever we have in our might to return the favour.

Big Encounter At A Small Restaurant

It Can Only Be KT, Somewhat Serious Issueson August 10th, 20088 Comments

So I was sitting at one of the eating places this morning with my driver after a case at the KT Magistrate Court.

Minding my own business as always.

Suddenly this dude in a rather expensive looking shirt came into the restaurant.

And started shaking everyone’s hands.

See the funny thing was that he was shaking hands like he knew everyone. But he wasn’t smiling. In fact he looked downright serious.

A bit kanasai as well.

The next thing I knew, he was at my table offering his hand. Like he knew me.

Of course with his arm extended in greeting, I had no choice but to shake his handlor.

So I shook his hand. And gave him a toothy smile. And said at the back of my mind ..

“Who the hell is this dude?”

Ever had someone you totally don’t know come up to you and shake your hand? With a really solemn face to boot.

So I thought …… celebrity? Nahh … he looked more like a government servant.

Celebrities look like this …. 

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Government servants look like this …… 

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They usually wear batik and look very happy.

But this dude shaking my hand didn’t look very happy wor. And not wearing batik what. Can’t be government servant kuar.

Unless he was posted to a state that he didn’t want. Much like someone you know.

So the dude with the solemn face sat down at the other table.

That’s when I took a peek outside and noticed brand new shiny black Mercs gleaming under the sunlight.

Then it dawned on me …

Terengganu + kanasai state government + equally kanasai prime minister = 14 new black Mercs paid for using tax payers’ money recently.

Must be minister lor.

That’s when my driver remembered, it was the Menteri Pembangunan Usahawan dan Koperasi, Datuk Noh Omar.

Holy crap. I didn’t even know there was such a Menteri in our country.

So I thought I’d take a picture of the dude.

Of course I couldn’t just walk up to him and take a picture paparazzi style.

Using my camera phone and pretending I was SMSing someone, I quietly snapped a shot of him from the side.

But then hor, on the way back to the office, I was showing my driver the picture I took. And he said …..

“ENCIK JASON …..  BUKAN ORANG INILAH MENTERI!”

Kanasai.

I took the picture of the wrong person wor.

And removed any doubt in my mind that I really am very dumb.

The dude who was shaking everyone’s hand was apparently his personal assistant or something.

WTF?

No wonderlah he looked so unhappy. If I had to shake hands with strangers everyday I’d be pretty darn pissed as well.

So this is the picture I took.

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Then I came back and googled Datuk Noh Omar and he looks like this. 

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Kanasai ……

I really need to take more interest in our country’s Cabinet memberslah.

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