Remember Those Dumb Emails I was going on about some time back?
How many times have you gotten an e mail like this?
Please help this girl.
She is only 4 and a half months old and she is very sick and by forwarding this email to all your contacts, you will help her by contributing 10 cents for her operation.
Don’t know about you but that girl looks pretty darn healthy to me ….
I mean …. I don’t think she looks any less healthy than this guy.
In fact this guy looks like he could use some help with his life. He looks like he hasn’t been taking his schizophrenic medication and people have been addressing him as a woman for a long time now
And they top it off with tag lines like …..
If you don’t forward this you don’t have a heart
I think if you do forward emails like this …. you’re doing the world a disfavour.
If that’s the way this guy sleeps, imagine what he does when he’s awake…
The thing is ….. I don’t quite believe it whenever people say money will be given to the relevant people when we forward those emails.
Who the heck’s gonna send the money to that person anyway?
And the worst thing is … I didn’t get this through my email. I bloody got it through friendster~!
…Don’t even get me started about kanasai friendster ….
See cause if I’m not mistaken, I got that same email like just over a year ago . Saying that the girl was 4 and a half months old one year ago.
Well if that’s the case …… anyone can be a 4 month old baby~!
Especially this guy here. My gawd he looks like he’s having a seizure or something…. Someone call a doctor please
Please help this
For all of you who want to help him (though I don’t know why), please forward the URL of this blog to as many people as you know and we’ll all pretend that 10 cents will be donated to him.
By introducing this blog to others, you will also definitely contribute to the decline in human intellectualism.
You know you’re doing the right thing~!
And of course there’re those dumb emails that want you to forward that particular mail to 15 people …. then something will pop up.
Then they’ll ask you to do something weird on your keyboard such as … Press alt F6 while scratching your backside and holding Enter.
And the best thing is their tagline or title is always …. You won’t regret this~!
Well ….. the first time I got that, I forwarded the mail to every bloody person I knew… my friends…. my enemies…. my mum…. my dad…. my dead relatives…. my unborn children ….
Then I really did scratch my backside and did whatever the crap they asked me to …
And I’ve regretted doing that ever since…
The ones that take the cake are those that ask you stare at a particular picture …
Yup …… I know you’ve definitely gotten an email like this before ….
Then after awhile some horrible picture pops up with sound effects and scares the living daylights out of you.
I say that’s a really cheap way to scare people man. What the hell?
I say there’re more effective ways to scare the crap out of people. Now wouldn’t it be more scary to just send a picture like this?
Heck you don’t even need any scary sound effects ….
….. I’m pretty sure you won’t be able to sleep tonight right?
Oh yeah~! Un-Kanasai~!
I don’t know about you, but there are many things about friendster that I find rather annoying now.
No wonder it’s going to lose out to Facebook.
You see, in my opinion, Facebook has this whole range of applications that I think keeps people really occupied.
So everyone’s busy being a vampire, or a slayer……. or buying their friends and keeping pets. And when they’re not keeping pets, they’re buying their friends as pets.
Erhmm ….. quite kanasai alsolar come to think of it.
On the other hand, over at Friendster, there’s nothing much to keep people’s attention so what do they do? They turn all their time onto themselves and come up with really really weird things.
Don’t believe me?
I didn’t want to like…. take screenshots of people’s friendster profiles….. so armed with a camera, me and my buddy Joe tried our best to re-enact some of the photos I came across …..
Now stop me if you haven’t surfed friendster one day and come across one of these groups of people …
The ‘Absolutely Creative Photo Captions’ Friendster ….
These friendsters have the uncannily amazing ability to come up with amazingly creative captions for their photos. Like :
That’s the toilet
Some even go the extra mile as to add creative captions that are particularly obvious and that undermine your intelligence
The ‘Talk In The Third Person’ Friendster ….
These friendsters did not learn pronouns back in primary school or love themselves too much, resulting in the use of their own names in every freaking sentence in friendster and also in every photo they upload :-
Jason is me. Just me. Jason is a carefree person. When Jason is free, Jason loves to dig his nose and run around the garden like a horse. Jason aslo likes purple colour. Want to know more about Jason? Then just ask Jason yourself. Or add Jason at email@example.com
Jason. So cool!
Jason salutes future.
Jason eating yummy apple
Jason being cute (and gay). Jason cute onod?
Jason being cute in the toilet
Jason being gay with Joe in the toilet
The ‘Colour your profile so that everyone on the planet can see it’ Friendster
This kind of friendster loves decorating their profile with so many colours and different fonts, it’s quite possible that even blind people can see it.
I’m a fun loving guy. People say I’m quiet. But in actual fact I’m just shy. I love to colour my friendster profile and make it so happy and colourful. Sometimes I think I’m gay
It took me 30 minutes just to colour that and do up the different fonts in html. And by the time I was done, there weren’t many colour choices left.
I imagine in friendster, you also have to alter each and every code for each word.
The ‘Phantom Adder’ Friendster
I’m pretty sure you’ve come across this kind of friendster before. This kind is the total opposite of the ‘talk in the third person’ category.
They’re so low profile that they go under really ambigous alter ego names like Tormented, Cicak Lembut, Lembu Gatal and Radeon
and put pictures of celebrities ….
pictures of footballers…
pictures of frogs….
pictures of cows ……
pictures of rocks…
…in fact they put pictures of every kanasai thing in the world except themselves.
They then proceed to put blank out the ‘schools’, ‘companies’ and any other things that might give you a clue as to who they are …..
And then they add you~! And assume you’re a psychic and know who they are…
The ‘Pelacur Kamera’ Friendster
This type of friendster have pictures of only their faces in their photo albums. And when there aren’t faces of them, there are photoshoped collages of their faces.
They live under the obvious insecurity that people might forget how they look like hence the photos.
These people usually do not have captions for their photos and we have to thank God for that if not they’ll probably be like this ….
Me, me, me, me, me and me
Okay …. now having said all that, there is another thing that bugs me about friendster. And that’s when people use friendster messaging to spread chain emails.
Remember those dumb emails I was talking about awhile back?
I think this is by far worse.
I especially hate it when Bill Gates sends me chain letters man. You’re busy going about your daily life then all of a sudden Bill Gates wants to give you money~!
I bet you’ve all gotten friendster messages like this before …
Dear Friends,Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates is sharing his fortune. In an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test. yada-yada bla bla
When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (i f you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.
For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00, for every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Bla bla bla bla …
Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a cheque.
Makes perfect sense what. Bill Gates is a very free person what. He only needs to run a multi billion dollar company. So I’m sure he’s free to do this kind of thing.
Bill Gates also has a shitload of cash mah. So what should he do with it?
Why share it with total strangers who don’t even know how to differentate between an email and a friendster message of course~!
And most of all I really hate it when chain letters play on your compassion.
But I guess I’ll cover all that in part 2……